Big Difference….

This Thursday we finally find out what the new baby is!  Finally!  So, I figured we could go ahead and tally up the differences between this pregnancy and Adam’s.

1.  I have morning sickness.  With Adam I was fortunate to have very very little.  Only certain foods made me sick.  I’m still sick usually once a day with this one.  Today I barely ate and what I did eat didn’t stay.   I guess I didn’t catch a lucky break on this one (and boy is Susan thrilled!)

2.  Hair and Nails won’t grow.  I take my vitamin everyday.  With Adam my hair grew in so thick and fast.  My nails looked great.  I have thinning hair with this one.  Daniel had the joy of plucking the wad of hair from the shower drain.

3.  Moody..Poor Daniel.  I’ve been emotional over anything.  Happy news makes me cry.  Sad news makes me bawl.  Anger brings me to sobs and I want to throw something.  I reminisce about when Adam was a baby and I just tear up.

4.  Very little breast change.  I know you all appreciate that bit of TMI.  With Adam I outgrew my bras in weeks, but with this one I am still in the same ones I bought after I had Adam.  Good thing considering how much they cost!  Sure, they are a little tighter around the band, but they aren’t digging into my ribcage yet.

5.  I’m carrying all around.  Adam was pretty much out front.  I know I’m a big girl anyways, but this child has added a nice bigger inner tube to the mix.  I could be my own float down the Guadalupe.  Or I could be the Michelin Man’s wife.

I think that pretty much sums up the big differences between the two.  I’m curious to see if we are expecting a girl.  I honestly still don’t have a wish for either.  I see advantages to both of course.  I’m just thankful that everything seems to be going good.  My checkup and physical went good.  Diabetes is under great control.

Now we are just getting geared up for the trip.  It’s getting really close and it’s exciting to think of all the places we’ll see.  We were unable to schedule Adam’s baptism before the trip.  I am disappointed.  But, I will schedule a visit with the priest and ask for a blessing over Adam and for a safe trip.  I am feeling the need to return to my faith.  When daddy passed and I was only 15 it shook me up.  Daniel and I married in the church and we will raise the children Catholic.  But honestly I haven’t lived a great spiritual life within the church.  Now I feel like many blessings have been given and I need to do my part and return to the faith that I belong to.  Not that I’ve strayed from being Catholic, but I need to be a better one.  I want both kids to have faith and know that they always have a greater power keeping watch over them.  Now is the time I need to be setting that path.

31 Years Gone By

On August 21st I turned 31.  Do you remember being little and counting forward to see what year it would be when you turned 21? 25?  And then, you just stop counting.  Or at least I did.  Daniel really outdid himself.  Daniel never really has made a big deal of birthdays, at least not like I do.  I grew up in a house where birthdays were so cherished and fun.  You got to pick what to eat, didn’t have to do chores, and my stepdad would start calling “birthday eve” at least three days before your actual birthday.  So, to go from that kind of house to one where birthdays were kinda just another day was rough.  When we dated he always bought huge bouquets of balloons.  Our anniversary of dating is my birthday too.  So, my wall was covered with deflated balloons during the four years of our courtship.  Then once we were married birthdays just kinda became another day.  No big deal really, but I would still reminisce about birthdays from being younger.  So I was expecting much the same this year.  Daniel suprised me with balloons and a bear at work.  We didn’t do dinner that evening since I was not feeling well with the lunch that was provided at work.  Leonard got me sunflowers – I have loved them since I was little.  My daddy and I walked through a field and I clearly remember the sunflowers towering over me.  Great memory.  Saturday we woke up and got ready for picture day.  We went to Target and it was great.  We got right in, 15 minutes later our shoot was done, 10 minutes later it was time to pick our favorites.  She got some really good ones and I can’t wait to get them.  Adam looks so grown and handsome!  He was a pro- he posed, he smiled, he charmed the ladies.  We grabbed a bite to eat, then went home for what I thought was a time to rest.  Adam was napping, I laid down for a second til Daniel said that I couldn’t get comfy because Adam’s stuff had to be gathered and we needed to go.  We were going out and my sister kept Adam.  My parents were at my sister’s and then we were going to dinner with friends.  It was such a suprise!!!  We went to Gloria’s in Arlington with Carlos and Brenda, and a couple other friends, then back to there house for a delicious cake!  I hadn’t had a birthday cake in years!  He even kept this all a secret.   That’s a huge feat for him to do!

I am now 19weeks pregnant and feeling the baby move alot.  I still get sick, sometimes once a day, I am having a lot of back and hip pain, and I am feeling so huge already.  Two more weeks til we find out what we are having.  I still don’t have a preference.   I ordered maternity clothes from JCPenny and they happened to come in on my birthday.  Thankfully everything fit.  I think I’m pretty much set on clothes, especially for the big trip.

Adam goes for his 15 month check up and shots on Tuesday.  He’s teething again so that means runny nose and coughing.  And moody!  Whew….he’s been a little bear this afternoon.

The trip is only weeks away!!!!  All of us are getting so excited!  Everything is booked.  All the money is almost saved.  Pretty much everything we need is bought with the exception of things we have to get as we are heading out like food and snacks.  Adam has a new cot to sleep on and he used it at my sisters.  He did good and only rolled off once, but it’s low to the ground and he went right back to sleep. 

My big goal before the trip is to have Adam baptized prior to leaving.  I don’t like the idea of him not being baptized for such a long journey.  My parents will be his godparents and I will call Monday to get everything set up.    I’m disappointed that Joseph won’t be his Godfather, but it’s understandable with all his school and work responsibility, and he’s up in Wisconsin.  Even if it’s just a small ceremony it will be such a blessing to have him baptized in the church, and even in the church Daniel and I got married.

So, I’m going to go rest and hopefully settle my tummy…..Burger King kids meal is not settling well at all.  Oh, the joy.

True Blue……

Life has been throwing me some curve balls lately.  Daniel went out with his friends last Friday.  No biggie- Really!  Until……he forgot he has a pregnant wife and son at home.  Didn’t call, didn’t answer my call, didn’t get home til 12:30am.  He had told me it would be gone for a little while.  I believed him despite knowing better.  The thing that bothered me was he didn’t bother to pick up the phone for hours- I mean HOURS!  To me, that is very disrespectful.  Anyway, we got through it, I snapped out of blaming him, and the weekend was pretty good.  My family came over on Sunday.  My parents brought  2 packages of newborn diapers, clothes for Adam, and juice for him too.  They are so awesome.  We had a really nice visit.  Alysha has been staying with us to take care of Adam all week.  She’s great.  She plays with him, talks to him, and he enjoys her alot!  Daniel has been working tons lately.  And while it’s good he is, I’m having a rough time with it.  I just feel like I haven’t talked to him in days.  This pregnancy has had me so much more emotional and my upcoming birthday is not helping matters.  Growing up I always got depressed before my birthday.  Can’t explain it.  I just take time to reflect on the things I’ve done, and mostly the things I haven’t done in life.  So, between feeling lonely and aging I have had a bad case of the blues.  Worried about work, worried about home, worried about money….it’s all just swirling around in my head like a giant whirlpool.  I know I have got many blessings in my life.  I have so much to be thankful for.  But there are also voids in my life that I’m having a difficult time dealing with.  I miss being such an open person.  I just feel I am not the same person I used to be.  I worry about hurting so many people’s feelings that I put my own on the back burner.  

We have two birthday parties this weekend.  They’ll be a fun outing for both days of the weekend.  But even this has me worried.  I feel like I have to walk on eggshells at one.  If I don’t speak enough to someone it’ll be brought up and their feelings will be hurt.  This party is not for this person and I am not there to celebrate them but I have been made to feel like if I don’t spend what she deems adequate time she’ll end up in tears.  I can’t believe sometimes how immature and petty life can be sometimes.  I will enjoy seeing the kiddoes running around and Kaitlyn’s big blue eyes full of surprise as she opens her gifts.  And that to me, is the most important thing.  Celebrating the joys in life!

Only a few more weeks unil we find out what we are having.  I wanted to go find out now by going to one of those places that you pay for sonos, but the last time we did this I ended up in tears and upset.  I can’t bear it this time.  So, I will force myself to keep things private and guard myself like I haven’t before.  I can’t wait to see this little baby again.  With Adam we had sonos nearly every other week, which was so much fun!  This pregnancy has been different in that it’s practically like a normal one.  I miss all those cute pictures though!  The second round of test results came back normal.  And that I think is all my good news……Now I shall go try to snap out of this truly blue mood.

Bummer!

So Daniel made it home early yesterday after working late every night practically.  I think today could have been about the same, however he chose to go drinking with buddies.  While I know he needs time to be his own person, it still bothered me.  I don’t know what to say to him about it since it’ll end up in a fight if I do.  It would be different if he had a normal job that brought him home at a consistent time.  But that’s soooooo not the case.  I have a mentally exhausting job.  Come home and try to have the motivation to do housework and I also have to be on the run keeping an eye on Adam.  I try to get to bed around 9 or so, when Adam is winding down, only to have my mind racing on what I have to accomplish the next day.  It never ends!  I was really looking forward to maybe a nice dinner with him and Adam.  So, bummer.

The appointment was fine.  Same old stuff.  But everything is good.  Diabetes is good.  Kidney function is great.  Blood pressure was excellent.  The baby was being elusive and didn’t want to cooperate with the doppler to hear the heartbeat.  Finally we found it.  No sono.  Another bummer. 

Once I got back to work all heck broke loose.  People think documents automatically complete themselves.  They may take forever to pay their bill, but want their records that were on hold because of the bill in minutes.  People ask for help and another coworker says they are too busy so I jump to do it.  It was just a frustrating day today.  I sure wish I could be with buddies right now.

Oh well.  Adam’s fussing.  Gotta go!

The Suspense Is Killing Me!

My coworker is having a boy.  She has three girls and is finally having her baby boy.  It has made me want to know what we are having soon!  I will be 17 weeks on Saturday.  I go to the doctor tomorrow for a checkup, but I don’t think she’ll do anything other than a regular check up.  Darn!  We are scheduled for our next sono to be Sept. 4th.  Then it’ll be time for the trip almost.  Then to the state fair.  Then the holidays.  Then it’ll be almost time.  This seems to be going so much faster than with Adam.  I feel bubbles alot lately and it’s amazing.  Yesterday I thought I was going insane.  As soon as I woke up I just felt sad.  I wanted to stay home, relax, and not be missing work because of yet another appointment.  But I went in.  I was that miserable emotional pregnant person.  I felt like I could just cry all morning.  No reason in particular.  I was trying to write an email asking for documents and was told that I was too demanding.  That set me off.  Then a coworker came behind me and slapped a folder on my desk.  Literally scared me enough that I screamed and jumped.  Tears came and I was so embarrased.  The guy felt so bad!   Stupid hormones!  I got better after lunch, but the morning was awful.  Today was better.  And Daniel actually got off work at 4:30 today!!!  YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  We went to Kid to Kid.  Adam got new shoes, a new toy, and pjs.  I scored a maternity work shirt.  And we will so be going there for stuff for the new baby.  It’s a new Kid to Kid and it rocked!  Not a big selection of 18month clothes, but tons of other great stuff. 

Adam has a new dance he does.  He looks like Lord of the Dance.  Little feet stomping.  So cute!!!!!  And he’s been giving big cheesy smiles all evening.  Such a happy little boy.  I’m blessed!